omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
