remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
