Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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