My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
