I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
