Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
