Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
