The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
