he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
