i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
