It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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