Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
