im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
