I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
