I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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