Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm too high and old for this...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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