My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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