So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
