Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
