Can Purell be used as lube?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
