I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
