Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
