fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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