The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
