i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
