Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
