So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
