I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
