I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
