How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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