All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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