So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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