I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
