Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
