He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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