I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
