I can tuck mytits in my pants
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
