God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
