i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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