I just cut my nipple shaving
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
