I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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