no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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