Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
