My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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