Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wish my penis had a tongue
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
