Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
