Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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