i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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