Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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