Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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