Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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