walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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