Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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