It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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