Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
