Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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