the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
