we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
