I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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