Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
