i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
As shirtless as possible
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
