Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
soo... how was my night?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
