oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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