So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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