I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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